So you know how Veronica and Erick brokeup right ? So I kept hanging out with him for the rest of June. On second day of exams I hung out with him, taylor and ben. It was fun, just chilled and it was all good till Ben's mom came home and caught him smoking in the garage :/ That was awkward. Then on the last day of exams, me erick and taylor went to zee mall. We bought fraaps and tacos it was delish :3 Erick gave me one of his tacos since he felt bad. But I didn't want one, what a nub. So then I thought Taylor was coming to my house too but it turns out she wasn't. So it was me and erick alone in my big house. At first we just chilled in my room. He gave me a makeover with my makeup. Wooooorst makeup job everr! LOL anyways, so afterwards I went to change into a different shirt cause mine was too tight >< So then we're just laying down on my bed. And then we started talking about him proving to me that he likes girls. He had to kiss me in order to prove it. We madeout for half an hour straight. What made it worse was that I was wearing a reallyreallyreally loose shirt so obv he was trying to un-hook my bra but I wouldn't let him. After that we went to my garage and finished up the rest of the weed I still had left. Then I walked him to the bus stop. After that he stopped texting me. So I was left confused and broken. Then he started texting me again, I don't remember when it was but he started texting me again. It made me feel better. Then I hung out with him and kasandra on the first sunday after summerschool started. Then it was just me and him on the thursday. Don't worry nothing happened on thursday. We just watched a movie, ate cake, drank coke and played video games. I felt like such a guy XD But it was alot of fun. Then the next day my phone falls out of my pocket and I lost my phone -_______- it was horrible I was so sad. That day I sleptover at sashas house with Lisa and Veronica. That weekend was the last time I saw sasha. Ugh I miss her so much its fucken horrible ): Its hard being away from her. Okay I don't want to cry again so I need to stop talking about her. Then like two weeks later I got a new phone. And whos still texting me everyday ? Oh yeah thats right Mr.Erick alex cantos. So then two nights ago, we started talking about chilling and getting drunk together. Then he said I apologize for the things I may do to you when i'm drunk. And i'm like don't worry I get a little crazy too. So then we talked about what we've done and stuff. To sum it up for you, we're now friends with benefits. Which basically means we can have sex together, do shit together with no emotional attachment. But I lied to him. I told him i've had sex already. But yes, i've done stuff with guys that part was true. But i've never had sex. But he has. He admitted it to me. So clearly i'm losing something big this summer, I just don't know if i'm ready. Like I told Alyssa that if I ever lost it I could only picture myself losing it to him. So I guess this summer will be something to remember.





Title says it all. Ever since I wrote that last blog let me tell you things have gotten SO MUCH worse. So you know how in may it would have been my third time going out to lunch with Erick, well ever since then went out to lunch with him every single day. No fucken lie. We've been hanging out , texting everyday. Him and Veronica broke up . Which now causes more shit for me . Like I hate how I'm his friend with mother fucken complications. Like jeeez he's a fucken boy get over yourself. Kai you gave yourself to him thats your fault. you were way to young anyway. and it wasn't even a month into the relationship. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Like no one understands that Erick has really proven himself to be a really good friend to me. He has been there for everything in the past three weeks. I love that kid for everything he has done for me. But now i'm getting worried. I'm starting to like him again. He talks to me everyday. And he makes the effort to be my friend. Like he's always asking me to hangout . He always wants to chill with me. He makes it so easy for me to like him again . But I know he's a player.Ugh what do I do ?
Last thing, Veronica is a bitch , I don't like her





Ugh. Veronica has been stressing me out so much lately. Her and Erick are having problems. I'm trying to help her, but she just keeps putting the same shit on me everyday. Like I can't handle it anymore. So I told her to stop talking about it cause it's giving me stress. I texted Erick today cause I just needed a friend. We were texting and he made me feel better. He's like my escape from everyone. Sasha is my escape too, but he is as well. We just talked about running away together, going to the moon, making sandwiches and just staying there forever. We've been out to lunch everyday this week. Tomorrow will be the third day in a row. Veronica, is getting jealous. Like I don't want her to feel jealous. But he pointed out to me, "Uhmm, you're my bestfriend. She can't tell me who to hang out with" hes right. Also, she hasn't made the effort to try and talk to him about their problems. I'm not trying to make things worse for them, i'm acctually trying to help. Everyday this week that I went out to lunch with him I talked about her and how they should fix things. He doesn't want to talk about it cause it's problems he doesn't want to think about right now. I understand that. But she just thinks i'm taking him away from her. >.> I'm not. I'm trying to tell him half the things you wanna say but don't have the fucken guts too. Like this bitch is pissing me off. Seems like the whole world is pissing me off !
Then theres Gavin. OMG. He is pissing me off majorly. He fucken keeps talking shit about me. Like yo, you got something to say ? Say it to my fucken face pussy nigga. Like truly. LIKE EVERYONE NEEDS TO JUST STFU.
EVERYONE CAN SMFD.
-nicccccoooleeee.





It's funny no one knows about this blog except for me. Well anyways, I just read my last post. I completely lied when I said I was better now about e.c. ROFLROFL biggest lie xD
Well for you people you would like to know. At the end of february, I decided to take sasha's advise and write down how I feel about erick and give it to him. So I did. But I waited till the first week of March. But I knew he didn't feel the same because he had fallen for my suppose to be bestfriend Veronica. And she had fallen for him even though she knew how I felt. That day she was happy because I told him and she thought I was over him. Little did she know. I was not over him. I was DEEEEFF not over him. Just because you give someone a note explaining how you've felt for six months doesn't mean your over them. Duuuude thats alot of feelings right there. But anyways moving on. I told her to give him the note cause I couldn't do it. Then I went to the second floor and avoided him the whole day. I didn't want to talk to him in person about it. It would make things extreamly awkward. That day when I was on msn he msged me right away and told me how sorry he was for hurting me like he did. He said he had no intention to do it. And how he hated how he was the guy to put me through so much pain. We talked for about an hour about it. It made me feel better. After that, we barely kinda talked for like 2 weeks. I avoided Veronica too the day he asked her out March 9th, 2010. I told her I needed my space to think about things.She gave me the space I asked for. That was also the week Sasha left for Cuba I needed her alot that week but as she told me I would be able to make it without her. And she was right as always. It was a hard week. But I got through it. With help from my friends (: Then over marchbreak I was feeling bad because she was getting treated like shit even if she did deserve it, no one should get treated the way she did. So I apologized and we talked about it. And she told me I had nothing to be sorry about. And she was right, I'm not gonna lie. I did nothing wrong. She did the wrong. But I was nice enough to forgive her. Because I was willing to look past all of this. Then marchbreak ended sadly and we had to go back to school. I saw her in the morning she hugged me very tightly since she hadn't seen me. Then I went on my way. I think it was that day or tuesday my friend's Dom, Gavin, Sasha and I were walking home and Erick and Veronica were at the bus stop. Then Gavin yelled out WHORE at her and looked directly at her. I told Gavin to stop. To stop calling her names and shit. Because he was escalating the situation. He promised me he would stop. I really really hope he keeps that promise. While we were walking home I texted her apologizing for what Gavin had said. And we talked . Then I went to Sashas house as usual. And when we sit down, Erick texts me. And we talked for a very long time. Talking about chilling, about the veronica shit, mostly random stuff. We're eachothers fuzzles :3 (it means bestfriends, he made it up c: ) And he texted me everyday since monday or tuesday. And its sending me mixed feelings again. And I acctually thought I was over him. But I really wasn't. I realized that from me being away with him my love grew stronger for him. From all those times he's dated/liked other girls, it's always made my love grow ever stronger then the first time I fell in love with him. I thought I got pulled out. But I really just kept getting pulled back in. I ask myself why ? Why do I fall for him even though he will never like me ? I fall for him because of how he treats me. By the small things he does. When he hugs me, it makes me never want to let go. When he texts me, I never want to stop talking to him. When i'm with him chilling or in person at school, I never want to leave him. Something about Erick Alex Cantos always pulls me in. I told most of my friends i'm completely over him. But no one knows that i'm still in love but I just show it less. This is something I have to keep to myself. And that is what i'm going to do...





kaiso. i need to blog more ! gah. i swear i just read my last blog and it was more happier then this one will be ...
well, i'll fill you in.
basically me and e.c well we have something going on it was really good. then one day i started noticing that i felt like he didnt like me. then i asked him and he only like me as a sister/bestfriend. it tore me apart for a good month. i'm better now .. but sometimes it hurts when he tells me he likes other girls. like yeah i will help him but he has to remember that at one point i did like him. and that he can just go telling me how he feels. like yeah im cool with helping you and all cause i want to be supportive. but sometimes it really hurts. i really dont want to like you but theres something about you that pulls me in all over again. sometimes i like the feeling the other times i hate it. i think to myself that maybe he will like me again. but thats a wish, it probably wont happen i wish it would but oh well.
other then that. me and sasha i havent told you about her. but she is e.c 's cousin and shes like my bestfriend in the whole wide world. i love her so much. she is the only one that get's me. she knows everything about me and all my secrets. she's the only person i could trust with my life. i love how she can always help me with my problems and not be like everyone else saying awh everything's going to be okay dont worry. shes not like them she acctually gives me really good advise (:
other then e.c my life in highschool is amazing. i met so many new people that are amazing i love them dearly, im happy for making new friends and i'm happy for recreating old friendships. <33
loveyou all very muuuuch !
well i need to finish my homework.
lovecandysweeets [:





ayyyye bloggers (:
well im very sorry for not posting many blogs i've been rlly busy with school and such. and it's been hard for me to do all my hmwk, try and have a social life, and blog all at the same time D: bout i'll try to do as much as i can :]
soo here are the updates since friday,september 25th
fridaaaaay
well on friday i went to school dressdownday x2. we had our dressdownday because it was terryfox day it was alot of fun :] after the walk me,melissa,jessica and elisa went to mccdonalds cause we were hungry then after that me and elisa ditched them aha and went back to staa. then after she was texting her "crush" and she wanted to go to timhortons cause she knew he was there so im like fiiiine then we went he wasnt there -.- i was going to throw her in a garbage can :] then i spent the rest of the day with jonathan,sylvia,randy and josh. we were just chilling and lying down and watching the football game .. sorta. well the highlights on the football game WE FUCKEN DESTROYED NOTREDAME :] then after at like 4:30 me priscilla and sylvia went to sylvias house and chilled and ate those delicious chicken fingers (: then after i went home and i went on my laptop and started talking to e.c and then we went on the phone from 8:30 to 1:40 it was the best conversation ever (:

saturday
i called him in the morning and we talked for a little bit cause then my bro was a fag and asked for the phone -.- then i chilled went on the computer for a bit talked to him there and then i went out with my friends and then at like round 6:30 went to watch fame with my mommy $: then i called him after and then i got tired so i said goodbye to him and then i went to bed

sunday
well today i'm going to watch my family friend marko perform somewhere loool im going with my friend jayde hopefully it's fun :]

thats all for todayy
ttyl bloggers (:





heeey bloggers,
sorry i havent blogged been busy with highschool :] mmkai so lemme tell you what's been happening in my new highschool. so basically i go to STA (St.Thomas Aquinas) and i've met so many new ppl and they are truly amazing (: i've met this one guy who makes my heart melt his name is erick he is my bestfriend but i adore him. i love all my new friends. i love waking up everyday and going to highschool .. i know it sounds geeky but i just LOVE highschool :]
well i need to go to sleep now so
ttyl bloggers :]

love, canddy .

I'm a donkey from spain who loves to eat strawberries. ok, so im not a donkey, and i'm not from spain either, but i do love strawberries. they're very nice. but honestly, i'd rather be an animal that flies. Maybe....dunno. *shrug* mmms. ok i don't know what i am. i'm just me.



I have to finish my own weight in homework so i probably should lose weight. however i can't really be bothered cause i got hit by a cloud and fell from below into a giant hole in the sky. since this makes no sense to you, just change it to a little list of updates or things you're doing now that need finishing but would probably never be done. homework is a common object of procrastination.



anything you desire, like sheep and guys in tight pants(: or chinese singers with cool hair or potion masters that teach in hogwarts school of withcraft and wizardry. even better, 150 year old headmasters with a fetish for lemon drops.



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